


don't know how to be

by andromedagalaxy



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-15 04:36:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10550166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andromedagalaxy/pseuds/andromedagalaxy
Summary: “No, Lukas, the only person who’s not cool with this is you.”That strikes Lukas silent. He can’t stop shaking and his whole body hurts, like he’s going to break apart any second, his bones down to dust, his veins bursting, his muscles contracting and ripping away. And now his heart hurts too, beating wild and frenzied in his already throbbing chest.“And your dad, I don’t know what his deal is, but he will get over it too.”There’s a deep silence that follows that one, Philip sinking into it with him. Lukas doesn’t look at him, staring down at the ground.(A missing scene from episode nine)





	

“No, Lukas, the only person who’s not cool with this is you.”

That strikes Lukas silent. He can’t stop shaking and his whole body hurts, like he’s going to break apart any second, his bones down to dust, his veins bursting, his muscles contracting and ripping away. And now his heart hurts too, beating wild and frenzied in his already throbbing chest. 

“And your dad, I don’t know what his deal is, but he will get over it too.”

There’s a deep silence that follows that one, Philip sinking into it with him. Lukas doesn’t look at him, staring down at the ground.

“I couldn’t…I couldn’t not kiss you, Lukas,” Philip says, with a soft sigh. “I thought I lost you when I pulled you out of the water, I thought I’d lose you when you were in the coma and I—I just—” he swallows hard, shaking his head. “I don’t know what this means to you but—”

“You know it means something to me,” Lukas says, his voice cracking. He looks up at him again. “You know…you know you’re important to me.”

Philip doesn’t say anything, he just nods, looking down at his hands clenched together. 

Lukas feels like his head is swimming, and even though there’s a killer after them, even though he’s been shot and was in a coma and everyone knows he’s goddamn gay now, all he wants is for Philip to come closer. All he wants to do is touch him. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, so quietly that he isn’t sure if he should repeat it.

“It’s okay.”

“I just don’t know how…to be,” Lukas says.

“We’re gonna get through everything,” Philip says, nodding. “All of it. If you let me, I’m…I’m gonna help you.”

Lukas doesn’t know if anyone can help him. He doesn’t even know if they’re going to get out of this hospital alive. But he nods, and can feel his yearning for Philip down to the tips of his toes. He looks up at him, remembering his words from a moment before. “You…you pulled me out of the water?” he asks, sniffling a little bit and reaching up to wipe his eyes.

Philip just nods, meeting his gaze.

“You got into the water?” Lukas asks, his throat going tight. “When I…when I fell in?” He can hardly remember any of it. Just sharp pain, wet and cold, then darkness.

“I had to,” Philip says. “Of course I did.”

Lukas nods and feels dizzy again. “Can you…come here?” he asks. “Please.”

“You wanna get up?” Philip asks. 

“No, I just want—I just need to touch you,” Lukas whispers.

Philip stares at him for what feels like an eternity and then pulls his own chair over as close as he can get. Lukas reaches out and grabs his hand as soon as he’s sitting again, lacing their fingers together.

“We’re gonna be okay,” Philip whispers, and when Lukas hears the cadence of his voice he can almost hear the echo of something, three little words…and he tries to remember the things he dreamt when he was in the coma. Lukas squeezes Philip’s hand and reaches up to touch the spot on his own chest. “Does it hurt?” Philip asks, watching him.

“Yeah,” Lukas says, drawing in a wavering breath.

“You wanna lay down?” Philip asks, looking around. “There’s a cot back there. I could help you get up, you could rest. I’d keep watch.”

“In a minute,” Lukas says, covering both their hands with his free one. He’d been so goddamn distracted by everything, all of it toppling down on his shoulders, that he didn’t get to take a minute to be thankful Philip is safe. They’re quiet for a couple moments, and Lukas stares at him. Traces over his face, his cheekbones, the depth of his eyes. 

“Can I…can I kiss you now?” Philip asks, tentatively, and the way his voice shakes makes Lukas feel like shit.

“Yes,” Lukas says, without hesitation. He’s on the verge of tears again and he nods when Philip starts moving in, cupping Lukas’s cheek and pressing their lips together. It’s soft and sweet and everything Lukas needs right now, and he tries to forget what’s happening, the danger and the worry and the fear. 

He kisses Philip and focuses on the way he tastes, the way he calms, the way he moves. He finds Philip’s pulse in his wrist and presses his fingers there as they kiss, letting the constant thrum ground him. 

They’re going to make it. They have to.


End file.
